It's How Life Is

Im Caroline Im married to my gorgeous hubby Mike. I have 2 beautiful children and cant wait for more. I have one angel baby whom i think of everyday. I'm simple and complex at the same time. Between two evils, I always pick the one I havent tried before. I'm extremly stubborn, and hard-headed.. I dont hold grudges. I'm am one to approach people I dont know. I'm usually quiet in front of new people. I'm not being mean. Get to know me, and you'll find out I'm actually really nice.. I sing in the bath. Ok maybe not on key I WAS a shitty person. I had a crap childhood, and lost two ppl dear to me I dont regret my past, as it made me who i am I'm a very patient person. I'm in the process of living my life. I'm always trying to find myself. Bath's are the best. I'm more trouble then I'm worth. I love it when it snows. I escape in art. Its my passion. I tend to have my head in the clouds. From what I hear I'm very...

The past two week have been hard weeks, losing not one but two family members in the space of 3 days to totally unrelated incidents. At times like this it makes you reflect on the things in your life, makes you wonder what is important, what isn't and what is just keeping you held back. Death i think is something we all don't really like to talk about let a lone think about, but when you are faced with two deaths one after this other you cant help but think about it and see it in almost everything. I know after hearing about their passing i kept thinking the worst for a few older members of my family or ones with health issues. Bad i know! Its not secret that my life hasn't gone exactly to plan. Growing up in an abusive situation from my babysitter, parents divorced, and then been in an abusive relationship, does take its toll i think. I think it can also hold you back in someways too. My struggles for the past 3 yrs ttc. Test after test and all to come back normal. M...

This week we will be having 2 celebrations. The first was yesterday my 6th wedding anniversary. How time flies!  Earlier on in the week we came across our home made wedding video, starting with my sister waking us with a camera in our faces, to the whole getting ready, vows and then the after party. It was a wonderful day with close friends and family.  It was the first time in anytime i can remember getting both my parents in a picture! Great picture i think, other than my eyes been closed when it was taken lol. So which do i look like?? My mom and dad haven't been together for over 20 yrs but it was lovely to know that they can both still be in the same room (even if they both deny it lol) My dad came with his now wife and their 3 children. No pictures of his wife as she didn't want to be in any which was a little disheartening but totally her choice, i know as I'm getting older i prefer my pictures not to be taken lol. We had only just got in contact not long b...

After seeing my consultant today, i feel.......a little worried, a little apprehensive, yet a little like I'm on the road to another challenge. When my Dh when for his vasectomy reversal, we didn't get warned about antibodies killing off his sperm. Our consultant thinks this may be the problem, although not 100% sure, Tests are been done! Also due to my long cycles rearing their head after so long ( guessing the clomid is totally out of my system) he has decided i need another ovary scan. So that is all but booked in just waiting for the date. Until then i have been put on Metformin . A drug generally used for type 2 diabetics, although recent studies have seen it help women with fertility problems. We are on the road to either IUI or IVF , It seems that after 3 years with no luck that is the only option. There are a lot of pros and cons to look at when dealing with the treatment. The main factor is the cost! How expensive!!! Luckily i have opted for the egg share whic...

Words atm can not describe how i feel, I'm hoping this picture may portray it! This is for my Dad! x

Blogging is something that i haven't been able to grasp hold of fully and jump onto the wagon. I find it a chore in some ways to have/want to blog everyday......however having dais that i love to write, and i love to write it in the exact way i am feeling it. I think from been in my  middle teens i learnt to say exactly what i felt when i felt it and not tip toe around things. In my opinion that is exactly how everyone should be. Yes it may hurt some feelings in a way, but if you are truthful in a way, wouldn't you prefer someone to tell you they either dislike you or you don't look nice in that dress, before you started a deep friendship, or stepped out the door? I know i would. But meh, maybe that's just me. People say that many people speak more of the truth ( although im sure it will be slightly babble and jumbled up) after a few drinks. Something to do with the alchol loosening your tongue...or something along those lines. I myself, don't really drink...

I don't seem to be able to keep up with this blogging thing and as you may have noticed it seems to come sparsely....however having said that i DO contemplate on blogging about something probably 2-3 times a week. I think i find it more of a venting machine, or someone i can pour everything out to when i feel like no one else is interested. I find that many people can be one sided. Maybe i don't amount to what they want as a friend/relation etc? Oh well i guess that's just how it is sometimes. We cant all be on the ball and ready to jump and the slightest whim. So whats been happening eh?? Well firstly my sister had a lil baby boy. It took me ages to meet him i have to admit, mostly because i think of my selfishness and stupid reasons, although at the time they were not to me. I had told lil sis that i didn't know how i would cope meeting him and wanted to leave it till i felt able too and she seemed fine with that. so that's what i did. When i did meet him.......