It's How Life Is

As the 31st approaches fast, i find myself feeling more and more in a difficult situation where all i want to do is cry. I'm snappy and irritable as everyone around me seems to be getting on with their day to day lives as if nothing is wrong. I know that i cant expect people to feel what i feel as they are not the ones that are going through it. I thought i had got myself hyped up enough to stop it affecting me but its slowly creeping up. It hurts to know that i should soon be holding my baby instead I'm holding back tears :(

We all have 'those' relationships that we don't want to talk about. I think in my 28 years of life Ive had my fair share. I first 'thought' i was in love at the tender age of 16. He was my first. I should have known that it wasn't right really, when he never answered my calls and his friends were telling me he was seeing his ex behind my back. Ofc this was all true as i found out new years eve. So was this my journey onwards? was all my relationships to go on like this. Was i to become the one thing that i despised about my mom? Always taking the same person back because i loved them, or thought i did? Well i think for the first few then yes! The next was the guy in the army. I suppose i was his UK shag piece along with probably a few others. We were together for a year, use to go to his house all the time, drinking with his mom and his little sisters adored me. Once again...i was cheated on and this came about on my birthday! Best thing is his excuse w